God. Life is so fucked up sometimes.

Emotions are too much sometimes. I hate them, yet I embrace them knowing I'll get bitten in the end. I suppose you could call me a masochist of the mind, if you will.

I fell for a boy I shouldn't have, and now I'm paying the price because of messed up circumstances that neither of us can control. Before anyone asks, it's not because of age - he is, after all, seventeen going on eighteen within the next few months. But I can't really say what the circumstances either. I'd be giving too much away.

Once again, censuring myself in an online journal. Huy.

I wish I could just leave. I wish I could get in my car and drive and not have to think about worrying about anything or anyone. But I can't, because I'm a stupid boy who has dependency issues. I'm a stupid boy who cares too fucking much about things. I'm a stupid boy who misses people after we stop talking.

I'm not depressed. I'm just angsting all over the place like there's no tomorrow. It'll pass once I talk to the boy. I just hope he'll hear me out. All I need is to talk to him... set a few other matters straight... get a stiff drink or seven... and get out of this city for even one night.